Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Moral Science Story

This is a story about a line.

Once there was a prosperous farmer, who had two sons Ram and Shyam. Ram and Shyam hated each other since childhood. For years the farmer tried to reconcile them, but to no avail. At last, on his deathbead, the farmer decided to split his land equally among the brothers. With a stick, he drew a line on the ground, and gave the left half to Ram and the right half to Shyam.

The line became a mud-road. Each brother married, and from day one told their wives to hate the other. When Ram added a second story to his house, Shyam added two floors. When Shyam's dog accidentally crossed into Ram's courtyard, Ram shot it dead.

The line became a busy street. Ram had a daughter Gautami. Shyam had a son Bhargava. Shyam encouraged Bhargava to throw stones at Ram's cows. Gautami poured ink on Bhargava's notebook in school. The children inherited their parents' hate.

The line became a state highway. Bhargava and his friends sneaked up at night and lit Ram's barn on fire. It was a major financial loss for Ram. In revenge, Gautami planted drugs on Bhargava and had him arrested.

The line became a national highway. Ram hired rowdies to ransack Shyam's place. Shyam responded by hiring his own gang. Three people died, twelve injured.

Then tragedy struck Ram: both his kidneys failed. Try as they might, they couldn't find a compatible donor. Just when all hopes were fading, there came news: someone had donated a kidney.

The operation was a success. Ram was eager to thank the donor, but the doctor wouldn't tell who the donor was. Burning with desire to know, Ram hired a detective.

Ram was back in his home when he got the detective's mail. When he read it, he was astonished: It was Shyam. Tears welled up in his eyes as he looked across the line into his brother's eyes. Getting up, he ran across to embrace his brother .... BAM! An oil tanker smashed into Ram. The driver lost control of the vehicle and the tanker exploded killing everyone in Ram's and Shyam's household.

Moral of the story: Before crossing National Highways, look both sides for traffic.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Bolt breaks speed of light barrier; scientists baffled.

Jamaican runner Usain Bolt today added another feather in his cap breaking his own previous world record in the 100m sprint race, by completing the race in 0.00000003 seconds. In doing so, he became the first man to cross the speed of light barrier, thought by many to be the ultimate pinnacle of sprint racing.

Speaking to our correspondent after the race, Bolt said he was happy with the record, but felt he could do better. "I slowed down slightly at the end, y'know what I mean? Got distracted by all the tachyons, man, that shit is word".

Scientists all over the world were caught by surprise by Bolt's stupendous achievement. The theory of relativity, invented by Sergei Einstein in 1845, specifically prohibits massive particles, such as Bolt, from ever reaching the speed of light. Some scientists accused Bolt of using quantum mechanics to break the speed barrier. International Athletics Council has a strict ban on using quantum mechanics in any sporting event. However the Jamaican Minister of Sports Robert Tarunga rubbished such allegations as jealous ramblings "It's clearly a triumph of human ingenuity over the laws of physics".

Runner up John Chadwell, who came in a distant second after clocking 9.98 seconds, felt that Bolt had won fair and square, but that he should retire to let others win. "There's no competition, he keeps winning. Why should I even participate?".