Sunday, October 12, 2014

Canara Bank to be Konk-Free by 2030

The 2012 Annual Demographics Survey of Canara Bank was released today. The report confirmed the worst - the number of Konkani-speaking employees declined by 12% from last year. At this rate, the report claimed, Canara Bank will be devoid of Konkanis by 2030.

We met with noted Konkani conservationist and leader of the "Canara Bank is Konkani Bank" campaign, Mr MP Shenoy to discuss this dire situation.

Interviewer: Mr Shenoy, thank you for talking to us. You have been with Canara Bank for more than 25 years. Can you tell us what has changed in that time?

Shenoy: The olden times were golden times. Canara Bank used to be full of Konkanis then. When I joined, my manager was a Pai, the head clerk was a Nayak and the cashier was a Bhandarkar. There was no fancy entrance exam or interview - the manager just asked me a few questions in Konkani about distant relatives in Mangalore. We used to make fun of the customers in Konkani - right on their face.

Interviewer: When did it change?

Shenoy: With Indira Gandhi's nationalization. Suddenly we were supposed to hire non-Konkanis and write exams! What nonsense! Pais and Nayaks were replaced with Kumars and Guptas. No longer could we make snide remarks about customers. No longer could we share daLithoy and upkari! It all went downhill from there.

Interviewer: Isn't it good? Hiring people based on competency rather than language?

Shenoy: No. Canara Bank is Konkani Bank. If you want fast efficient service, there are other banks out there. Canara Bank was founded to give Konkani people jobs, not to help the populace.

Interviewer: What steps do you want the Government to take to fix this problem?

Shenoy: We want the government to declare "Konkani Canara Bank Employee" as an endangered species. We also want 50% quota to be reserved for Konkanis.

Interviewer: The other problem you have is that Konkani youth are not applying to Bank jobs anymore. How do you plan to address it?

Shenoy: It is all software industry's fault. They have seduced the gullible youth with their high salaries and glamorous lifestyles. Our youngsters have forgotten our traditions and cultures. The government must ban Konkani speakers from any engineering degree. That way, they will do BCom and have Canara Bank as the only option.