Saturday, June 15, 2013

Unborn Child Given Nobel Peace Prize

The Swedish Nobel Committee today announced that the 2013 Nobel Peace Price has been awarded to the  unborn male child of Lisa and Drew McLaughlin of Manchester, New Hampshire. The child, who hasn't been given a name yet, was given this award in recognition of the tremendous achievements that he might do, once he is born. The Nobel committee expressed hope that the child would solve world hunger problem and bring peace in the middle east before he turns 10.

The couple, who were thrust suddenly into the limelight, were embarrassed by all the attention, but felt proud  that their son won the award. "He was an unplanned baby, you know. We got really drunk that night and
The only known photo of the Nobel Prize winner
forgot to take precautions. At one point, we even decided to get rid of the baby, but we're very happy that we didn't".

Kiminetji Twakany, the African philanthropist who many thought would win the award this year denied that he was disappointed. "I wish our young friend all the best". Mr Twakany, who had been helping people in war torn areas of Somalia and Sudan for almost 40 years, lost his arms last year while saving a school bus from a landmine.

The baby is due to be born in September, just before the award ceremony in Sweden. In case the baby is not born by the award ceremony, the medal would be surgically inserted into the mother's uterus.

While the Nobel Peace Prize has always been controversial, this year has been especially polarizing. Prominent journalist Nick Greyson wrote on his blog "Great decision by the committee. That kid has a lot of potential. Giving it to Obama on the other hand was a big mistake". Sources report that minutes after the blog post was published, Greyson was arrested and sent to Guantanamo Bay for National Security reasons.

Notable Feminist, Gloria Estefan, lambasted the choice of the committee, saying that the baby won only because he was a while male. "This is blatant discrimination against blacks and women". Gloria said that she was planning to stage a protest in front of the award ceremony.

While the whole world waits with bated breath for the arrival of the baby, nicknamed "messiah" by some, Lisa and Drew just want it to be over. "I've already made plans for the million dollars we will get as prize". Drew plans to buy a Porsche, and Lisa has pre-ordered dresses from Gucci and Prada.