Friday, March 28, 2008

Coping with rejections

Fall admission results are out, and inevitably some of us weren't so lucky. Let us see how various people reacted upon getting their rejection letters.

Here is Mr Iyyer from Chennai

Namaskaaram Respected Sir/Madam,

You have simbly made a terrible mistake in rejecting me sir. My astrologer Vaidyanadan Muttiswami predicted that if I joining a college name beginning with T, I will be sure to get the nodel prize sir. He is a very powerful person, he predicted Rajanikant will become superstar in 1978 only no sir.

Please reconsider your decision in the face of divine prediction sir.

Yours Sincerely,
Kozhikode Vaikuntanadan Sriramachari Iyyer

What about our beloved Mum"bhai"? What was his reaction?


Aay Professor ke bachche,

Kaiko apunse pangaa leta hai? Apun ko - woh kya bolta? - admit maangta. Tere college mein chokri log mast rehta hai, aisa maine suna, kya? Isi liye admit maanga. Jyaada shaan patti nahi karne ka, kya? Apun ko underworld mein bahut connection hai, maalum? Ek siti maara to phir teri vaat lag gayi, samjho. ja ja ... admit de, chal.

Taplu Bhai, Mumbai

Our Shivajinagar brethen tried the old juicy-palms approach:

Salaam Sethu,

Kya ba tumm, mereko reject kardio? hum kaun, maalum? shivajinagar me mutton shop Mohommad ka beta Rustum. Hyderabad mein bees poultry pharm ka maalik ji hum. tum humko admit deta to, hum begum ko bolko tumhara ghar daily mutton and murga bhejta. dedo ba, tereko kya jaata?

Rustum Karim Khan

Here is an aNNavru fan overdosed on babruvahana

Oho! nannanne tiraskarisuva mattobba ee prithviya meliddaneye? trilokavanne geddu banda ee arjunanige sari saaTi yaarilla! dhairyaviddalli, ninna pourushavannu raNarangadalli torisu! tegeduko ninna astravannu! noDoNa ninna bhujabalada paraakrama. aa paarthane reco-letter barediruvaaga, nannannu tiraskarisalu ninageshTu dhairya?

ninna aTThaasavannu biTTu sharaNagatanaagu. tolagu!

The following person couldn't complete her mail before the paramedics came:

Oh my God! you rejected me! I can't believe you rejected me. how could you? why, oh God, why? why me? But, But you admitted that ... that Sally. What's she got more than me? Oh my God, I have trouble breathing ... OK,OK, take a deep breath ... OK ... look, there must have been a mistake. I can't ... just can't ... Dammit, I can't find my Alderall ... OK,OK ... there's still time ... just give me an admit ok ... ah! found 'em ... wait, what is this .. this isn't my meds ... rat poison? fuck oh fuck ...

There are brits, there are pompous brits ... and then there are pompous faux-brits:

My most sincere salutations to those who are reading this,

Permit me to apologize for this grotesque and garrulous waste of your precious time, but I am compelled to bring your notice a griveous injustice that has been done unto me. Upon perusing the contents of your letter this morning, I failed not to notice that you have, in error perhaps, deemed that I am not suitable for joining your illustrious institution as a student. Due modesty prevents me from illustrating my magnificent persona, but it the situation forces me to remark upon the fact that you will not find a better candidate than yours truly.

I beg thee, beseech thee even, to grant up onto this humble soul an admission.

Thanks,
Xumlelo Pmabngwa

2 comments:

Arundathi said...

he he

Vandana said...

'simbly' is a very mellu usage. Most tams I know say 'simpllly' with the 'le' reminiscent of the very tamil 'rzhe'.