Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Guess the plot: B-grade horror movie edition

In this age of internet porn and big budget 3D horror movies, the subtle art of the B-Grade Movie is indeed lost. They were the true pioneers of their time, pushing the boundaries of the U-rating by showing almost-but-not-quite-naked women in close-to-but-not-really-scary situations, with the silliest names anyone could ever imagine.
I found some posters of some such gems recently, without any other info about their plot. So here is my take on the movies based just on the poster.

Bhaago Bhoot Aaya

Usain Bolt produces and stars in this classic tale of murder, revenge and running. When Shaitan captures Bolt's girlfriend, he challenges him to the ultimate race. Now Bolt must run like he has never run before: being chased by ghosts and while wearing formals.


Kabrastan

To the east of Kazakhstan and to the north of Uzbekistan lies a small forgotten country called Kabrastan. For some reason everyone there is dead. After Borat succeeded in introducing the fine culture of Kazakhstan to everyone, some Kabrastani director decided to make this movie. The protagonist of this surreal movie is a hand which talks. Some believe that hand is a metaphor for the Congress party which is why Sonia Gandhi banned this movie in India.

Pyasa Shaitan

Thie movie is notorious for it's product placement: the people in this movie keep drinking Coca-cola products throughout the movie. The Shaitan doesn't actually kill anyone because he's too busy drinking Coke Zero. There is a token girl-who-dies in the movie, but thats because she drinks Pepsi accidentally.

Khatarnak

A heartwarming musical adaptation of Michael Jackson's Dangerous. A touching story of a one-eyed cyclops' struggle against the bigotry of the carnatic music world. The protagonist is a monster who's ambition is to sing Dangerous in yamuna kalyaaNi raaga, but is thwarted by jealous and petty humans. In the stirring climax, our hero butchers an entire kacheri full of people while maintaining taaLa.

8 comments:

Rakesh said...

adding my own home productions:

mazak mazak mein paida hua razzak
bookhi jawani
badan mein saithan
reshma aur bheeshma

Raghavendra Raichur said...

awesome!
super imagination!

Ravi said...

So, where in the map does "Registan" come??

Raghuram (AJ) said...

Adda bidde saaar! Namoonamaha!!!

Pradeep said...

Truly brilliant man!..It's been jus plain fun reading your blog..keep posting..

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