Semiconductors caught in doping scandal

In what people are already describing as The Biggest Scandal of the Year, the World Anti-Doping Agency today accused several prominent semiconductors of using illicit substances to improve their electron-carrying performance. The Agency filed a report this afternoon with the President of the Periodic Table, alleging that these semiconductors willfully and with full knowledge ingested illegal substances to decrease their band-gap. Among the accused are such stalwarts such as Germanium and Gallium, but the biggest shock was the inclusion of Silicon, a veteran of the Electronics industry and the most well-known semiconductor.

Reactions varied from shock and disbelief to cynical I-told-you-so's. Arsenic, a long time companion of Gallium, said that he was shocked by the accusations. "I've known Gall for a long time, this is just unbelievable. I think the Agency has made a mistake".

A Transitional Metal, speaking to us on condition of anonymity, said that he was not surprised by the extent of the doping scandal. "It's an open secret, everyone does it. The business of modern electronics - it's a tough business, this. Fortunes are made or lost by a micro-amp difference. Can you really blame 'em for upping their electron potential?".

It's unclear what the fate will be for the accused. Germanium was already suffering from the effects of the Zener Diode Crash of 2011, and is likely to retire from the semi-conductor business. "Silicon is gonna walk away, you mark my words. The whole electronics industry is based on him - Who do you think they'll replace him with, Carbon? Nah, the big shots always get away with anything, it's the small time players who'll get punished."

The practicing of incorporating illegal substances to enhance some feature is not new or restricted to semiconductors. One of the first public examples of doping was Iron, who was caught using Carbon to improve tensile strength. Iron was further implicated in the use of Chromium to enhance its beauty. But the Group IV had an untarnished reputation till now.

caste operators

Q: What are the caste operators in C++? With examples, explain the different caste operators. (10 marks) [VTU CS321 May 2009]

A: The caste operators are used to change the caste of a person.The four different caste operators in C++ are explained below.

a) static_caste
static_caste operator is used to change the caste of a person for a long period of time. Note that the effects of this operator are permanent.
Eg: Ramaswamy Krishnamachari Iyyer comes from an ultra-orthodox brahmin family from T-nagar, Chennai. After writing IIT exam three times and not getting through, RKI bribes the Tahsildar to produce a caste certificate pronouncing him a scheduled caste person. He then goes to IIT, then IIM and finally becomes a Big Shot. Later when he finds that he is no longer allowed into Guruvayur temple, he drowns his sorrow in Beluga Caviar and Dom Perignon.

b) dynamic_caste
dynamic_caste operator changes the caste of a person for a short period. While the benefit of using this is less than that of static_caste, there are no long term effects.
Eg: Ramaswamy Krishnamachari Iyyer has an unholy liking for mutton biriyani, but his amma carefully audits his spending. He buys a cap, goes to some arbit muslim wedding, says random phrases like "khuda haafiz", "wah wah" and "mubaarak" to everyone, and gorges on mutton and chicken. He then goes to Guruvayur temple for dessert (their prasadam is delicious).

c) reinterpret_caste
reinterpret_caste doesn't change the caste, but changes the way the rules of the caste are implemented.
Eg: When confronted with a bucketful of chicken, Ramaswamy Krishnamachari Iyyer recites from Skandapurana 11:38 "Thou shalt eat meat and all shall be happy". While his mother and granny debate whether Skandapurana comes above Ishopanishad, Rama gorges on the chicken.

d) const_caste
const_caste is used to remove the orthodoxy from the caste.
Eg: Centuries ago, konkani brahmins used to be as orthodox as Tamil ones, but over time succumbed to the temptation of fried fish and fenni. A konkani brahmin youth of today can be identified by the joint in his right band, a beer bottle in his left hand and a slutty girl on his lap.

Spam-o-rama

They say you can tell a lot about a man from the contents of his spam folder. (Who the fuck are 'they'? How do 'they' know everything? I've never heard this one, you just made that up, shithead. I'll ... I apologize for this schizophrenic outburst. I've taken the meds, and we're OK now ).

Anyway, I decided to find out what kind of a man I am(You're a loser). So instead of deleting the spam folder as part of my morning routine, I let it grow. For two days and three nights, the contents of my spam folder grew and grew and grew, until the Google sent me a warning about '100% of 6122 MB full: do you want to upgrade?'. Let's see what I had inside.

Like everybody else, I had the usual mix of Nigerian money scams, V1agRa ads, ads to increase the length of certain ... err ... appendages etc etc, so I'm listing only the interesting ones.

#1: No rain in Iraq
Like every American, (fucker, you're an Indian) I watch the news regularly about what's happening in Iraq. Like every American, I don't give a shit what happens to the damn Iraqis.(Yeah, we watch it for entertainment) What's the point of this spam anyway?: Buy this T shirt and the drought will stop? Were these T shirts made in sweatshops of Iraq and that's why they have a water shortage?

#2: PhDD
As a grad student planning to spend 5 years and two hundred thousand dollars in a small, bitterly cold, midwestern city in the vague hope of getting a 'Dr' in front of my name, this spam pisses me off. I mean, they can't even spell 'Masters'! And what's PhDD? Doctor of Dubious Philosophy? The only way this spam could have been real was if it had come from Bihar. But that's impossible since noone in Bihar knows how to use a computer.(Look what you've done. You've pissed off lots of people now.)

#3 WW3
CNN must have forgotten to report this. Yeah, that can happen, it's only World War III not like Superbowl or something.

#4 KQA
Now why in tarnation would Google classify a mail from Arul Mani as spam? (Coz you pressed 'This is spam'.) Has KQA started selling V1agrA in order to pay for prizes? (Did you listen to what I said? It's not spam). Is Google pissed off that their team got 0 points in the last KQA Corporate quiz? (Aaaaah!)

#5 Marketing disguised as spam
Come on, Microsoft! You can do better than that. I know Vista didn't sell very well and all that, but stooping so low? Gee, I know Vista's supposed to be full advanced and all, but claiming that it can cure diseases? 'both male and female'? What next, solving world poverty in SP1?(Ha Ha).